Gelisim News

Stating that coronavirus quarantine is an opportunity to correct the relationship, Assoc. Prof. Dr. Karakoç said, “instead of collaborative steps voices such as ‘Don’t do it, stop, shut up’ from many houses started to rise.”
 
“PARENTS ALSO STARTED TO BE EXHAUSTED”
 
Psychiatrist from Istanbul Gelisim University (IGU) Assoc. Prof. Dr. Sevcan Karakoç stating that in the early days of coronavirus outbreak many people tried to make staying in quarantine enjoyable, said: “For the first time, fun activities and enjoyable time were at the forefront for children. These were quality quarantine days, the shock effect of acute trauma and the honeymoon period of being at home. However, as the process was prolonged, the epidemic caught the heads of the streets, the restrictions increased and the family's material and spiritual resources decreased, so did the parents. While spending more time with the child is an opportunity for bonding and correcting the relationship, some families have started to have the opposite effects. Instead of collaborative steps from many houses, the sounds of "Do not stop, stop, be quiet" started to rise.”
 
“THE CHILD HAS NO EXPECTATION”
 
Speaking about the behavior of families whose parenting attitude is over-controlling, Psychiatrist from Istanbul Gelisim University Assoc. Prof. Dr. Sevcan Karakoç said: “In this process, it may be possible for you to control your children's daily school and housework program and even participate in live lessons and intervene. In this case, there may even be emotional abuse to criticize your child frequently and behave the way you want. If you are a perfectionist parent, you may need to act successfully and effectively according to this plan, such as planning every moment, watching educational films, organizing useful activities to spend the quality quarantine days with your child. The problem is, this need is for the parents, the child actually has no such expectation.”
 
THE OPTIMAL APPROACH: DEMOCRATIC FAMILY ATTITUDE
 
Stating that mothers and fathers with authoritarian attitudes ignore their children's wishes and sometimes give their children excessive responsibility, Karakoç said, “Parents with an overly protective attitude may find it difficult to settle their children and set limits on their children by thinking that they may be severely affected by quarantine and epidemic. They may be worried about their children and do not want them to take the slightest responsibility. In the democratic family attitude, which is one of the most appropriate approaches, especially positive behaviors of children are prioritized. Little achievements are praised for what they cannot do, freedoms are recognized based on the child's level of development, but limits and rules are clear.”
 
“SMALL PROBLEMS GREW”
 
Stating that spending more time together at home also increases the minor problems, Karakoç continued: “When we are in a tense and negative emotion state, we start to see everything more negative. For this reason, we shape our relationship with the child with negativities such as “shortcomings, inadequacies, dissatisfaction”. A word that we say unintentionally can be hurt and emotionally disturbing for our child. For this reason, instead of reacting suddenly, it is necessary to act by stopping and thinking, prioritizing compassion in difficult processes and focusing on the use of 'self language'. Instead of "I'm tired of you", "I’m tired of constantly reminding your homework" can be used. We can use patterns that point to the child's behavior, not the personality of the child, that does not attribute bad character to the child, and that more clearly expresses what we want to explain at that time. If we have an overprotective attitude, we can get rid of it and give our children responsibilities in domestic tasks and small household chores. When children see that they can do this, their sense of competence can be strengthened.”
 
“NO BAD MEMORIES”
 
Emphasizing that a parenting approach in the form of constantly distracting or happy children is not correct, Karakoç said: “However, it is a process in which we remould our children at least and communicate enough, so that these days do not leave bad memories.”
 
“ISOLATION IS AN OPPORTUNITY”
 
Stating that if several generations are under the same roof in social isolation, this is an opportunity to share old customs and traditions, Chairman of the Board of Trustees of Istanbul Gelisim University Abdülkadir Gayretli said: “Grandmothers can tell their grandchildren fairy tales. It can be played if there are old traditional games. Adding educational use, old games can be taught to prevent too much interaction with technology such as tablet and computer use. For example, ‘I sell oil, I sell honey’ (yağ satarım bal satarım), is a game based on movement that will be played even in the living room at home. Also, stepping game like "I took – I gave" (Aldım – verdim) in the corridor helps balance and motor coordination. Children, adults and adults can increase their cognitive skills by using their memory with names, plants, city games played with paper, pencil.