From the University Agenda

“Please hear the silent screams of children and prevent abuse!”

Perhaps one of the most significant problems of our day, "child neglect and abuse" incidents are raising every passing day. Expert Psychological Counselor Asst. Prof. Bülent Tansel," Unfortunately, such tragic incidents are frequently encountered in our country as well as all over the world and we are deeply affected as a society. Take action to protect children before it is too late. Please hear their silent screams and stop abuse’’.

Child sexual abuse, which is in a sense a crime against humanity, is among the issues that need to be emphasized. Stating that the most common type of child neglect and abuse, which is generally explained in five sub-dimensions, is the emotional abuse of children, Asst. Prof. Bülent Tansel, faculty member of the Psychology Department of the Faculty of Economics, Administrative and Social Sciences of Istanbul Gelisim University (IGU) :“However, child sexual abuse constitutes the most important dimension in terms of the traumatic effects it leaves on children throughout their lives. Sexual abuse is unforgettable throughout children’s lives, but its negative effects can be reduced with psychotherapeutic interventions and appropriate social support.”

“Children's feelings are as strong as an adult's”

Stating that children that have not yet reached puberty and have not experienced hormonal changes cannot have an idea about what sexuality is, Asst. Prof. Tansel also added, “They cannot understand that such actions performed on them are sexual or abuse. However, they can sense that something bad is happening because children’s feelings are  as strong as those of an adult. When abusers reach out to children, they first take care of them, join their games, and try to gain the children’s trust. While communicating with the child, the abuser provides them with small rewards or opportunities that will not be approved by the family. If there is no response from the family, they discover family and gradually prepare that there is a communication gap between the child and the child for abuse. Especially for young children, the faces they see for the first time are unfamiliar, but after seeing the same face for the second time, that person is no longer an unfamiliar person. One of the characteristics of children in the period they are in is to please adults and fulfill their wishes. They are strictly bound to the rules of the game while playing. Abusers use this well and want the child to keep the abuse they do as a secret by imagining it as a game.”

“Children are mostly abused by their relatives”

Studies and current reports indicate that children are abused by those closest to them. Asst. Prof. Bülent Tansel said, “ In some families, close relatives such as uncles and paternal uncles love the children when they come home, of course this is normal. However, even though the child cannot understand that this is sexual in behaviors such as hugging and caressing, which are not normal, they feel that it is something bad. They try to stay away from that relative, but sometimes parents say; 'he is your uncle, he is trying to love you, why are you running away'. This confuses the child's mind. They start to think that the bad thing s/he feels is actually the loving behavior of adults, because his/her mother or father say you can trust him. Unfortunately, this being the case, the abuse can continue.”
 
‘’Children should be able to share everything with their families’’

Stating that children may want to talk about sexual images or situations they see, hear or witness on television, social media or in their living spaces while spending time with their parents at home, Bülent Tansel said, “If the family do not let the child speak honestly and ensures that this is not discussed with concepts such as shame or sin, they will make the child aware that such situations should not be discussed with family members. In these situations, the child will no longer talk to his/her family. Contrary to this very wrong and harmful attitude, family members should listen to the child calmly without intervening, and if he/she cannot answer immediately, they should research the issue by telling the child that they will learn about it as soon as possible or they should consult a specialist. Families should always be accessible to their children. They should listen calmly to the child’s verbal and behavioral expressions without ignoring or neglecting them. They should make the child feel that they support him/her no matter what. They should make it a topic of conversation how his/her day went at school, on the playground or in the park, and they should have sufficient information about the people he/she encountered or was in contact with.”
“Drain the swamp and there will be no more mosquitoes ”
In our country, especially in recent years, the statements of some teachers or other experts who work with children are shocking to the extent that they contradict their fields of expertise. Regarding child sexual abuse, serious statements such as 'why is this necessary', 'it is unnecessary to speak so openly', 'you are normalizing these as you talk about them' were made. IGU faculty member Asst. Prof. Bülent Tansel concluded his words as follows: “The real normalization comes from not talking about these issues, sweeping them under the rug and ignoring them as if they do not exist. On the other hand, especially when it is considered that pedophiles are sexually affected even by children’s passport photos, it is very important for families not to share their children’s photos openly on social media. The fight against child sexual abuse is not limited to sharing clichéd statements and slogan culture on social media for a few days after the incidents. If you want to get rid of mosquitoes, drain the swamp. Children should be taught what a ‘good touch’ and a ‘bad touch’ are, and that it is their natural right to say ‘no’ to situations they do not want or do not approve of. Programs should be created to ensure that they internalize these. Instead of gathering a large number of students together and providing them with guidance training on sexual abuse for one hour, it would be much more efficient and effective to organize long-term structured psycho -educational group sessions on sexual abuse. Therefore, an educational curriculum with an interdisciplinary approach and pedagogical formation should be created for children at preschool, primary school and secondary school levels, taking into consideration the age and developmental stages of the children. It should be implemented systematically and immediately in all schools. On the other hand, qualified training should be provided on this subject, particularly to experts working with children, families and the society.”