Istanbul Gelisim University - Advice for couples to be happy during a pandemic

Advice for couples to be happy during a pandemic

Expert Psychologist Selin Kalabaş, who advises couples who are closed to homes during the coronavirus pandemic, for a happy relationship, said: “Couples can spend time in different rooms within the house during this process. Couples can spend time in their own rooms and focus on their work as if they are going to work. Since longing come forward, it also contributes positively to their relationships.”

“SPOUSES EVALUATE IT WRONG”

Expressing that couples should create personal spaces inside the house, Expert Psychologist Selin Kalabaş said: “Having to spend time together for a long time during the COVID-19 outbreak couples who do not develop their listening skills, constantly interrupt the words of their spouses, criticize, judge and use the 'language of you' have a bad pandemic period. When couples do not know how to be together or do not spend time on their own work and their favorite activities in the same house, this affects them negatively. In fact, when one spends time alone, the other spouse misinterprets this situation and turns it into a problem. So they argue with each other as a result of dysfunctional evaluations such as "he is not interested in me at all".

“DO NOT READ MIND”

Stating that the cognitive distortions called "mind reading" increase in couples living together in the house for a long time, Kalabaş said: “Disagreements in the relationship increased in this process since partners answer questions in their mind as ‘I know what is meant’ without asking questions about another spouses thoughts, feelings, needs, etc. so they interprete their opinion.”

“SPEND TIME IN DIFFERENT ROOMS”

Referring to the fact that couples can improve their mutual listening skills to solve their communication problems, Lect. Selin Kalabaş, an Expert Psychologist from Istanbul Gelisim University, said: “They should focus only on what the other person is talking about, without thinking about the answer they will give to their wives. At the same time, they should avoid learning to use ‘my language’ and blame each other. In this process, they can spend time in different rooms in the house. Couples can spend time in their own rooms and focus on their work as if they are going to work, and they will contribute to their relationships in a positive way, as longing to each other will come forward.”

Emphasizing that precautions should be taken to avoid situations such as severe incompatibility, separation, divorce, etc; Kalabaş also warned of receiving psychological support from a specialist.