Gelisim News

“Punishment damages the relationship between the family”

About 19 million students in pre-school, primary and secondary schools affiliated to the Ministry of National Education (MEB) got their school reports last week and went on summer vacation. Mentioning the importance of making a situational assessment of students' grades, Clinical Psychologist Lect. Selin Kalabaş stated that punishment methods are not instructive.

As every semester, students received their school reports this semester. While some were excited on that day, others were anxious. Clinical Psychologist Lect. Selin Kalabaş from Istanbul Gelisim University (IGU) Faculty of Health Sciences, Department of Child Development, stressed the importance of assessing the situation by investigating the reasons for students' low grades.  

“After the causes are determined, appropriate solution step can be started”

Having low grades on the school report does not mean that the person is "unsuccessful", "inadequate" or "useless". Clinical Psychologist Lect. Selin Kalabaş, who stated that only getting a low grade meant that person could not do the course due to various factors. “First of all, families should talk about the course in which their children got low grades and find out the reasons behind it. Reasons for their children's low grades may be caused by a problem such as being above the level, being below the level, not finding it interesting, not making sense, lack of motivation, emotional factors or distraction. Once these reasons are identified, a solution can be made appropriate to the situation.”

“Justice and criticism must be avoided”

Many parents often resort to punishment methods in child education. Stating that punishment is not instructive, Kalabaş said: “Penalty is just a control mechanism. The punished child does not learn anything about the situation. In addition, it is seen that people continue to behave undesirable when the control mechanism is removed. Punishment also damages the relationship between the family.” Adding that the appreciation of the smallest effort of children creates a positive effect on the child, Kalabaş also mentioned: “Children's smallest efforts should be appreciated and their potential should be trusted. Children should be guided and functional alternatives should be offered. Judgement and criticism must definitely be avoided.”

“Make your children feel that you have unconditional love for them”

Investigating the reasons behind children's low grades and finding common solutions with children play an important role in their success in the future. Mentioning that children should express their “shame” and “guilt” feelings, Clinical Psychologist Lect. Selin Kalabaş: “A specialist should be consulted when necessary. Children's potentials should be analyzed correctly and should not be approached with high expectations. Children should be made to feel loved under all circumstances and care should be taken to keep strong relations with children.”

Adding that a study program can be prepared for the summer vacation after determining the reasons for the low grades of the children, Kalabas made the following recommendations:

“Sports events to exercise the body, mindfulness and yoga exercises can be done. It is possible to participate in aid projects. You should be in touch with nature and rest. Most importantly, it should not be forgotten that children are more valuable than grades. Make your children feel that you have unconditional love for them.”